Do you trust Me?

Staying steadfast and faithful through the process can be quite difficult. The ups, the downs, the unknowns… times where it would be easier to close the door and walk away.

But is it easier?

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” [Psalm 27:14].

“We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield” [Psalm 33:20].

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes” [Psalm 37:7].

For 2 years I went through numerous tests to donate my kidney…to be approved, but not a direct match to my friend, to waiting, and waiting, to finding one and them backing out… I stood faithful through all the appointments and disappointments that came our way. I’ll admit, the process was frustrating. To see my friend in dire need, stepping up to the plate so to speak by doing the testing, finding out that I have a perfect kidney for donation, could donate to anyone…except her…the waiting, the process, it proved to be difficult at times, I can only imagine how difficult for her. Yet, I stood faithful through the process. I did not waver in my commitment to her.

THEN God showed up [well, he was there the whole time] but He really showed up…Cassy received a perfect kidney, what we thought was impossible and I was able to keep my kidney. Was the journey worth it? Were the tears and frustration worth it? Would I do it all again? YES! God taught me so much through the process of waiting. Teaching me to be steadfast and faithful through the process and the unknown. We both were blessed immensely by our steadfastness and faithfulness to the process! He is faithful.

It was A miracle in the waiting.

In March, it will be 2 years since I began the journey of joining a team in Sydney Australia to plant Iris global church and missionary base. It has proved itself to be a difficult season of waiting and delays. Everyone sees it as a negative part of the process but for me, I don’t want to step outside of God’s timeline to just crash and burn, but want to wait for His leading and guiding. [Isaiah 30:18 MSG] “…God takes the time to do everything right – everything. Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones.”

I feel the question of the year has been, “When are you going to Australia?” 

I wish I had an answer. I think I know, then something changes, and then I think I know, and yet I don’t feel the timing is right. It has been an emotional rollercoaster as timelines and dates change and now that the couple I will be joining has landed back in Australia,  I still don’t feel God’s peace to move ahead in the process. I know where I am going, I just don’t know the length of time until I will be released to go. I don’t know how to explain it, but I will know it when it comes; when there is a peace that passes understanding.

Yesterday I came across a short clip from Steven Furtick, literally, perfect timing…

“There’s been a change of plans… God said, I’m going to change the plan so many times that I’m not even going to tell you plan A because I don’t want you to be confused. God will tell us to set out but he knows we can be directionally challenged at times. So, He’ll tell us he’s taking us here, but then He will takes us here, here, here and here. God loves to surprise his people, not to punish His people but because HE WANTS TO KEEP HIS PEOPLE IN A PLACE WHERE THEY DON’T TRUST THEIR PLANS, BUT INSTEAD THEY TRUST HIM!!’

Wow, how accurate in this season! When the plans constantly seem to change, when I finally get settled, change of plans! God has been faithful through it all needless to say. He is stretching those faith and trust muscles.

Each step, every turn; “Do you trust Me?” 

Do I trust Him? I want to say yes, but there are days and circumstances that leave me weary about what is next, is there something coming around the corner that I don’t see yet?

“Do you trust Me?”

It seems I am at a dead end again…

dead-end

It seems like I have been in this spot for 4 or 5 times in the last year and a half.. waiting…waiting for the path to be lit for what is next. Waiting for the next steps to be revealed. Trusting that what looks like a dead end, He has a boat prepared for the next leg of the journey.

I hear a gentle voice, “Do you trust me?” I know that He is aligning my next steps, orchestrating the next job, the next place He is taking me. I know that He has something planned because each time I have been in this exact place, He proves Himself so faithful. I know I am here for a season, to continue getting rooted and to dig my heels in.

Do you trust Me?”

For now, I have to stay faithful to what God has shown me and the direction He is leading. There is a purpose for this season that will launch me into the next season. There are lessons to be learned and training to endure; preparation. There may be a lot of twist and turns along the way, but I am trusting His leading and timing. I can’t force it. I can’t manipulate MY timeline. I have to trust that He has my best intentions in mind. He is outside of time and He sees the bigger picture. As difficult and frustrating this season can be at times, knowing that He is for me keeps my heart at rest – most days!

So, to answer the question of the year, “When are you going to Australia?”…

When I feel a peace that passes my understanding.

When I get the green light.

BD0701-001

I’d like to say things will unfold sooner rather than later, but I don’t really know.

In this season of waiting, I continue to lean on Him, drawing near to Him. I continue to work diligently and prepare the best I can while I am here.

Trust can be difficult.

Waiting can be difficult.

This has been a season that God has called me to wait. The only thing that will be harder than waiting on God is wishing that I had. Each time he whispers, “Do you trust me?”  I take a deep breath and take another step.

He is in the waiting.

When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen.” [Isaiah 60:22]

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One thought on “Do you trust Me?

  1. Pingback: Shake it off! | kristamarrie

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